Once again, God has put me in a new place and stripped me of all my securities. My family, my boyfriend of almost two years, and my close friends have all been taken away.
Three days after starting my new job at Compassion, my boyfriend called to tell me “he couldn’t do it anymore.” That really didn’t come as a shock to me. I had been praying about it intensely for the past few days, having a lot of doubt in my heart. After going through my journal entries for the past, well, year, most of them said something like, “I’m frustrated”, “I wish he cared more”, “I wish I felt more loved”. I should have gotten the clue sooner. Things weren’t right. It’s just hard to let go of your best friend. When I think back on the past 3 year, most memories involve him. For good or bad.
Even though the situation is hard, God has held me close to him. I have been uneasy about the relationship, and wanting more for a long time. His decision to end things was an answer to prayer! God has poured love and grace over me. He has provided me with 16 loving interns and numerous coworkers who have reached out to me, and embraced me in such a short time period. The Lord will never give someone more than they can handle, and I trust him. He will use this time to strengthen my faith and create perseverance in my life.
Compassion has been a blessing in every possible way. The projects I will be working on this summer involve writing, editing, video, and more! Basically, everything I love and enjoy doing. Also, we spend every other friday volunteering at different organizations. This friday we went to the springs mission center.
It always seems that right when you start feeling sorry for yourself, and throwing a pity party, God totally rocks your world. The testimonies I heard at the mission center penetrated deep into my soul. I have been so humbled by the men’s experiences and circumstances, that I realize I have no reason to be anything but grateful and joyful.
These verses really resonated with me today:
“The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup, you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.”
“May the name of the Lord answer you in the day of trouble…May he grant you your heart’s desires and fulfill all your plans!”
I know that God has placed the desire to have a relationship and to explore the world in my heart. He has a masterful and beautiful plan for my life.
All I have to do is say “here I am”, and he will take care of the rest.
That’s true love.