thoughts from a commitment phobe
The post-graduation decision has been nearly impossible for me. I’ve spent countless hours each night running scenario after scenario in my head of what life after college is going to look like. What about Tanzania? How would I get there or how much is the cost of living? Or what about Colorado? Oh yeah…I like that idea. Great weather, quality friends, fun activities. Of course there’s always my parents voice in the back of my mind, “Just come home Rachel. Free food. Free rent.” What’s a free-spirited girl to do.
This season of life has revealed to me that I hate commitment. Why have just chocolate when you can have vanilla and strawberry, too. Well, Colorado’s my chocolate, Atlanta’s my vanilla and Texas is my strawberry. But in this case, I can’t have three, and it’s driving me crazy. I’ve been afraid that through commiting to one place, I’ll miss out on better experiences. That’s completely false. Adventures await through every experience we have in life. The location doesn’t even matter!
Each day that passes, I’m realizing more and more how I need to be content in my current circumstances. We’re blessed to be exactly where we are. Sometimes it’s hard to believe, but God has us exactly where He wants us. A lesson I’m still learning…
I hate to admit it, but my pride was definitely keeping me as far away from option number three as possible. Go home and live with my parents? Absolutely not. That’s what people do when they can’t find a job. But the more I think about it, I think about how nice it would be to see my sister, to spend the summer with my brother before he goes to college and to play with old high school friends.
It’s clear that God is definitely moving because three months ago it would have taken a team of people to drag me to Georgia, but now I’m eager to go home. There are moments I’ve missed out on going so far away to school, and I think I’m ready to spend some time with my family. What a blessing to be able to go home.
Doors in Georgia are opening all over the place. My granddad called today to inform me that he wants to pay for me to go on an adventure in Liberia. Yes, please. I’m thrilled to announce that after graduation I’ll be going home to Atlanta, then off to Liberia and hopefully Denver? For the first time since August, I have a peace about graduating. This next season of life is exciting beyond belief, and I cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for me.
So I’m over treating Atlanta like it’s a broccoli. Well, that’s just ridiculous. It’s totally ice cream. 🙂
And then who knows.
We’re just going to take it one day at a time.